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Mental Health Month (Part 2)

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This post will probably be a little shorter, but also with permission. Another face of Anxiety. I mentioned to some of you that I had two 504 meetings last week – here’s the other half of that story. (Apparently writing about our family’s struggles is therapeutic for me. You’re welcome!)

The year 2019 has brought our girl 3 “new” diagnoses. Charlotte has been diagnosed with migraines (she gets some really long ones), she’s been diagnosed with dyslexia (I have personally suspected this her whole life, but I could never get the school to test for it because “she’s doing so well!”), and she has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (probably because no one but her parents believed she had an actual learning disability).

Charlotte’s struggles with school work are mostly invisible. Her teachers notice her horrible spelling, but she is a hard worker and very intelligent, so she has been able to compensate. When I made a fuss in elementary they did give her reading help in 2nd and 4th grades, but were never willing to test for any issues formally. Charlotte has always HATED having to spell words or read out loud. She always got low scores in reading fluency, but high scores in comprehension and writing (because spelling didn’t matter to her teachers). I always hold my breath when she has to do a cold reading at an audition or rehearsal because her reading often includes a lot of guessing. Copying notes from a board is horrible for her because she can only copy a few letters at a time. We do our best to find her audio books when she has to read something on a deadline. (There are a lot of videos of people reading books on YouTube – it’s actually pretty awesome!) We try to read ahead in scripts as best we can so that she isn’t tripped up by big words. We have actually figured out how to pretty successfully help her help herself through a lot of situations.

And then she took French this year. It turns out, spelling does matter in a foreign language. And being able to read somewhat fluently is also a big deal again. She has spent most of the year with pretty bad anxiety over French class and American History class due to all the reading and notes. And, for the record, she has worked extremely hard and put in hours of studying to try to be successful in her classes. She breaks things down into chunks and does her best to stay in schedule with assignments. She has better study habits than I ever did!

So tonight, we got to celebrate the hard work and determination of this amazing young lady. She not only got an Honor Roll award, she also received the President’s Award for Academic Excellence. We could not be more proud of everything she overcame to get here, and we are so excited to see what high school will hold for her. ❤️❤️❤️

Mental Health Month (Part One)

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Since May is Mental Health month, I have received permission for the following (extremely long) post. I hope it helps give a face to Anxiety and Depression and it makes someone feel less alone. Please know that even if we are not close, I am here to listen and support any of you. ALWAYS.

Last night was a crazy one for our family. Charlotte had her last Middle School choir concert, Micah had the last orchestra concert of the year, and it was my father-in-law’s 82nd birthday. So, we made a plan to meet my in-laws for dinner. After dinner, Keith attend Charlotte’s concert and then they would meet me at the high school to see at least the last combined orchestra song. (We did the opposite last year, so that helped us decide.) My father-in-law went with Keith and my mother-in-law was to meet me at the high school.

Before we left dinner, Micah ended up in the bathroom for a long time. He eventually came out and walked right out the door, clearly not in a good place mentally. I grabbed both kids to get them to their schools by call time and told Keith I would update him when I could. We dropped Charlotte off and I tried to get Micah to open up and let me help him with whatever he was struggling with. It had already been a rough week at school for his anxiety because of a final robotics project Monday and an AP Calculus exam yesterday morning. Micah had not been in orchestra at all this week because of these conflicts, so he was worried he wouldn’t be able to get his music or his violin. So, I calmed him the best I could by reminding him his teachers are very kind people and I’m sure they would let him get what he needed. Just to be sure, I promised to go home and get his other violin and bring it back. He went in doing okay.

I texted him when I was ready to return to the high school to see if he was able to get his violin and music. He replied he did, but now he was paralyzed by his thoughts in the bathroom again. I talked him down, told him to find a trusted orchestra teacher to let her know he was not okay and I was on my way to help. I arrived not knowing whether he would be waiting for me or if maybe they were able to get him warming up.

I walked in and texted him I was there, got my mother-in-law settled in a seat, and he texted he was in the lobby. We spent he next hour in a side hall. I tried literally everything I could think of to get him to go be with his orchestra – reminded him he has survived 100% of his 5 years of concerts so far, nothing bad has actually ever happened to him while playing his violin, he is a talented kid and can do this, etc… We used meditation, grounding techniques, deep breathing, lots of tissues, and I finally told him all he had to do was sit up and tune his violin. Next we had to go to the lobby. We spent most of Symphony 1’s concert working on going into the auditorium. Finally, Symphony 2 was literally leaving to go on stage. I looked at him, told him he had no more time, he had to do this, and bless his beautiful heart, he went.

My beautiful, brave child grabbed his violin and went and performed. I was broken in a million pieces (but I did not cry the whole time with him because I am not only an empath, but also incredibly stubborn), and my heart was bursting with relief and pride and love for my broken child. He looked confident and prepared on stage and no one would have ever guessed what his last hour had been. YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SEE WHEN SOMEONE IS NOT OKAY. If you saw me, talked to me, or hugged me last night, you probably didn’t know I was walking around shattered. If you saw my child after the concert, you probably got an awkward smile.

So, I want you to know that I see you, and I will struggle with you. I know what it is like to try to be strong enough for two people when you are really breaking into a million pieces. I know what it is like to have your child say things like “I wish I was never born” or “I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.” I know the grief and fear and doubt and guilt. And I know that we are all doing the best we can. Micah is in counseling and on medications. Overall, things are getting better. But it is still a terrible, dark thing he is dealing with, and it is one he has to battle alone. But you know I will be there fighting to get to him. So please be kind to us.

April Family Game Night Recap

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March may have been rough for Family Game Night (FGN), but we are back on track in April! Even losing internet the evening we were planning to play an online family game didn’t phase us! It was a good month for games.

Our first FGN was April 12th. We were going to play Jackbox games using our television and cell phones, but our internet went out. So, we decided to take it on the road to the FGN event at two.fifty.four, the new youth center in Gahanna. We took Seven Dragons and Quarriors with us. We also enjoyed using their ping-pong, pool, and foosball tables. We really enjoyed that evening and will most likely be going back to two.fifty.four soon!

  • What luck that we could just pop down the street to this!
  • Seven Dragons
  • Quarriors
  • Ping Pong
  • Pool

Our next FGN was actually on Easter with Keith’s parents. We went to Marion for dinner and then sat down for a couple of games. We played Tsuro – Keith’s Dad took everyone out the first round and I think Micah won the second. It was our second time playing this game with them, so I think they enjoyed revisiting it. Then it was time for some smack talk in Uno. It was a really long game with lots of me remembering that I alter the rules some when I play with my clients… It was a really fun evening and I think everyone is looking forward to doing it again.

  • Tsuro
  • Tsuro
  • Tsuro
  • Tsuro champion!
  • Uno

May is looking to be a little crazy, so we will have to see how everything works out. I am sure we will at least fit in a couple nights with our kids. 🙂

March Family Game Night Recap

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Well, as expected, March was a super busy month. Our family involved in two different shows with two different tech weeks made for a very tight schedule. When we had time to have family game night, one or more of us was just not feeling up to it. So, we only have one game event to recap here. It’s a good thing we had extra game nights earlier this year! We also have not had any game nights involving my in laws this quarter, so we will need to figure that out for April.

On March 26th, we took Micah and 4 of his friends to Tabletop Game Cafe to celebrate his birthday – finally. The high schoolers had their own table and, as far as I know, only played two games. Betrayal in the House in the Hill and Kids Against Maturity (a more PG version of Cards Against Humanity). They seemed to have a great time with both of them.

Their game of Betrayal was the longest I have ever witnessed! The haunt started early and lasted forever!
They had a great time!

At our table, Keith, Charlotte and I played Love Letters a couple of times. This is a quick game that we really liked. Not complex and pretty fun.

Next we played Catacomb. Catacomb ended up being a lot of set up and learning, so we only played one encounter. We really liked the game play, though. Flicking disks at your enemies is strangely satisfying. We plan to watch a little gameplay on YouTube and then give it another try with all 4 of us.

No photo of the board set up – I was definitely not “on my game” that day!

The last game we played was Apples to Apples. It turned out to be a little rough for Charlotte because Keith and I have so many more years of inside jokes, but we all enjoyed this one, too.

Another easy to learn and play game – definitely less frustrating to Charlotte.

We also found a game we want to try next time we are at Tabletop – Sagrada. It is a dice game with only a couple pages of directions, so I think it could be a hit with our whole family. Charlotte is especially excited to try it.

Have you tried Sagrada or any other game you think we should check out? Let us know in the comments!

March Create Date

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We knew that March was going to be crazy busy and we were going to have to be creative when we tried to carve out time for dates. So, we scheduled a glass shamrock sculpting class for Sunday morning. At the time, we were not thinking about Daylight Savings Time being that same weekend. So, we ended up getting home late Saturday night and losing an hour before going on our date. We were sleepy, but we were happy to be together and creating!

Read for our instructions

We went to a place called Glass Axis here in Columbus. Our daughter took an ornament blowing class from them in January, so we were already a little familiar with the workshop. We did not get to blow glass, but we got to sculpt it into shamrocks in two different ways. Our instructor, Emma, gave us a quick demo and then it was our turn. In a wonderful turn of events, we were the only two people in the class, so it was super fun and we got great attention.

  • Gathering glass
  • Just gathered glass
  • Coloring the glass with sprinkles

I went first to make my shamrock. I decided to do the more rounded shamrock with color inside between the two glass gathers. I used Dark Green, Light Green, and Yellow to color my piece. Emma gathered the glass for me, but I got to roll it in the color sprinkles and heat them into it. Then I helped with tools while she kept it moving at the right speed and heated to the right temperature. It was fun to sculpt the glass and I was really excited with how it was turning out. And then, in a freak accident, my shamrock was cracked completely in two. I decided to mourn for a bit while Keith made his and then try again.

  • Rolling the glass in sprinkles
  • Heating the glass in the blast oven
  • Shaping the glass
  • Flattening the glass
  • The colors are so different when they are super hot
  • Shamrock before the stem
  • Shamrock ready for the cooling oven
  • Shamrock cracked in half… 😦

Keith made a shamrock with two glass gathers and then the color on top. He used the Dark Green and White sprinkles to color his. He also decided to do some of the shaping with scissors for a more square looking leaf. I thought he did a great job coloring and shaping his shamrock, and his arrived to the cooling oven safely the first time.

  • Picking up color sprinkles
  • Melting color into the glass
  • Shaping the glass
  • Flattening the glass
  • Cutting the leaves
  • Close up of the hot color
  • Ready for a stem
  • Headed to the cooling oven

It was time for me to redo my shamrock, and I have to tell you, it was actually a blessing to get to try again once I knew a little bit what I was doing. I think my second turned out really well, and it ended up safely in the cooling oven with Keith’s.

  • Waiting for a stem
  • Emma forming the stem

I was able to pick up our cooled and bagged shamrocks today, and let me tell you, I adore them!! We will definitely be displaying these for years to come, and I love that they remind me of our Honeymoon in Ireland. We would definitely like to go back to Glass Axis for more classes in the future, and we will highly recommend them to all of our friends

  • Autumn’s shamrock
  • Keith’s shamrock